Dear Master Sergeant (Ret.) Walz:
Wow, there sure has been a lot of fuss and feathers over
your military service; lots of stories, lots of videos, lots of nagging doubts
about your record big guy. First of all, thank you for your service in the
Minnesota National Guard for 24 years. Nevertheless, let’s talk about some of
the gaping, bleeding holes in your personal military narrative. Let’s discuss
some issues that are really irritating veterans and especially combat veterans.
You’re not a retired command sergeant major. While you served for a brief time as a command sergeant major, “You retired as a Master Sergeant in 2005 for benefit purposes because you did not complete additional coursework at the U.S. Army Sergeants Major Academy."
So, stop calling yourself a retired command sergeant major.
I don’t call myself a retired major general, because I was never a major
general, nor am I retired from the military, capiche.
FACT: In 2004, as
acting command sergeant major, you put in your retirement papers when you
discovered that your unit, the 1st Battalion, 125th Field
Artillery Regiment would deploy to the sandbox within months. As the senior non-commissioned
officer, you bugged out and left your men. While they were at war in Iraq for
22 months, fighting and dying for their country, you practiced your little Buddhist
bow as you ran for Congress. There’s a yellow streak down your back as long as
I-80, cowboy. I can tell you Master Sergeant Walz, that you are lucky you didn’t
run into a certain command sergeant major I knew, who served FIVE years in
Vietnam with the 173rd ABN and who would have wall to wall counseled
you into the mass of quivering jelly that you are.
Stop telling people you carried a weapon in war. In 2003,
you deployed to Vincenza, Italy, in SUPPORT of Operation Enduring Freedom. You were
never within 5000 miles of any shot and shell. The only elephant you saw was a
glass figurine in a China shop in Naples. The US Army hasn’t fired a shot in
anger in Italy since1945 and brave guys like Bob Dole gave all that mortality can
give at places like Castel d’ Aiano and Riva Ridge and Anzio. Your biggest
worry was the leaning tower of Pisa falling on you or choking on a cannoli,
coach…you were an extra in a remake of Roman Holiday with J Lo and Ben Affleck.
You aren’t an Enduring Freedom vet. Stop nodding along with
journalists when they accidentally call you one, stop holding signs that read, “Enduring
Freedom Vets for Kerry.”
Stop talking about’ whispering about your PTSD’ when you got
back; about how you feel guilty about returning from the conflict when others
didn’t, as if you’re a white horseshoe head version of Private James Ryan. Give
me a break. “When we got back…the guilt… bodies on the tarmac at Bagram”…Shut
the F up.
Stop being the world’s biggest wannabee.
Stop pretending that you’re something you’re not. You’re not
a command sergeant major. You’re not a combat vet. In fact, you are the anti-combat
vet. You ran from the sound of the guns, not to them like many brave men I know
and knew. Your actions are disgraceful and in violation of the Stolen Valor Act.
You should be prosecuted and thrown in a jail cell in Tangiers for six months
with some French Foreign Legion vets who would use your bald head as a pool cue
in the exercise yard.
You’re not one of the souls that ‘fought with us on St
Crispin’s Day. You’re one of the men who was in Minnesota abed, and who forever
thinks himself accursed’, don’t you?
I don’t walk around telling people I was a Navy SEAL sniper
with Chris Kyle or I was a Delta operator in Mog. Or, I won the DSC in Grenada. But,
I’m proud of my service as a MI officer who rode with the 7th
Cavalry at place called 73 Easting, Iraq.
You are not part of the Band of Brothers, you are not part
of ‘the few, we happy few.’ You are not fit to stand in the company of the brave
troopers who gave all in our wars.
And, you are lucky that my old mentor Colonel David Hackworth
is not alive today. He would have chewed you up and spit you out like the piece
of blubbering, bowing, Bolshevik bubble gum you are. Hack, the most decorated vet walking the USA
in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s did not suffer fools and could spot a feather merchant
perfumed prince like you at 1000 yards in the dead of night. You might remember how he outed another stolen
valor fraud, Admiral Boorda, for wearing a V device on his Navy Commendation
Medal.
Frankly with your ties and love of all things communist and
Chinese, I wonder how in the hell you drifted off the S2’s radar and what in
the hell what you were doing over there on your honeymoon? Was that when you
and your wife made first contact with your case officer? Your comments about
communism and your numerous trips there are a cacophonic cry in the night for someone
in counter-intelligence to crawl up your yellow backside and do a serious special
background investigation on you, Comrade Coach.
Yes, Master Sergeant you can smile and wave and do your little Mao bow to your followers, but the truth is in the dark of Minnesota nights when you return to bed from a milk and cookies run and you can’t sleep, your mind drifts off to the fact that you know you ran from the sound of the guns. And, as Bill Shakespeare so eloquently wrote, “a coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.”
Nighty night comrade master sergeant.
